I think I'm paranoid
by itchingmyknee
I seem to be consistently privy to the gross misconduct of senior directors. While waiting for a lift in a department store, I overheard a middle-aged gentleman talking loudly about a young girl who had become pregnant during her probation period at his office, “We can’t tell her that’s why we’re sacking her,” he hooray-henried down the phone, picking his expensive white teeth with immaculate nails, “We’ll have to say she’s bad at her job. Make something up.”
Worse is true closer to home. A sales person got too close to a top level director a while ago. Rumours of an affair are unsubstantiated, but certainly she partook in drug-taking and witnessed various nefarious goings-on within the upper echelons. The relationship has soured, and this sales person wishes to leave the company. Of course, the senior director is terrified of company secrets leaving with her. So, he has promised her the earth to keep her on while embarking on a strategic mission to convince her that she is going mad. This began with a series of personality tests to determine whether she had a “personality problem”, followed by a number of closed meetings to discuss her psychological health. The senior director and FD lean over the hapless girl, playing good cop, bad cop:
“You need serious help.”
“We’re the only ones who can help”
“No one here likes you. If we took a straw poll, you’d be the most unpopular member of staff.”
“But we care about you.”
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, as the saying goes. There is no room for naïveté in the workplace. Luckily, our sales person is leaving next week, and taking her sanity with her. The poor knocked-up newbie at the FTSE 100 company will doubtless fare less well. Fellow office junkies, watch out for the oft-said catchphrase of the HR executive, “I work for you, not the company.” They really are all out to get you.
I seem to be consistently privy to the gross misconduct of senior directors. While waiting for a lift in a department store, I overheard a middle-aged gentleman talking loudly about a young girl who had become pregnant during her probation period at his office, “We can’t tell her that’s why we’re sacking her,” he hooray-henried down the phone, picking his expensive white teeth with immaculate nails, “We’ll have to say she’s bad at her job. Make something up.”
Worse is true closer to home. A sales person got too close to a top level director a while ago. Rumours of an affair are unsubstantiated, but certainly she partook in drug-taking and witnessed various nefarious goings-on within the upper echelons. The relationship has soured, and this sales person wishes to leave the company. Of course, the senior director is terrified of company secrets leaving with her. So, he has promised her the earth to keep her on while embarking on a strategic mission to convince her that she is going mad. This began with a series of personality tests to determine whether she had a “personality problem”, followed by a number of closed meetings to discuss her psychological health. The senior director and FD lean over the hapless girl, playing good cop, bad cop:
“You need serious help.”
“We’re the only ones who can help”
“No one here likes you. If we took a straw poll, you’d be the most unpopular member of staff.”
“But we care about you.”
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, as the saying goes. There is no room for naïveté in the workplace. Luckily, our sales person is leaving next week, and taking her sanity with her. The poor knocked-up newbie at the FTSE 100 company will doubtless fare less well. Fellow office junkies, watch out for the oft-said catchphrase of the HR executive, “I work for you, not the company.” They really are all out to get you.
posted by bitingmylip at 8:12 AM
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