Monday, February 26, 2007

Much Ado About Oranges

By itchingmyknee

When the virtuous Hero comes under fire in Much Ado About Nothing, her suitor Claudio entreats her father, “Give not this rotten orange to your friend; She's but the sign and semblance of her honour”: No matter how bright and waxy the skin of the fruit may seem, the flesh inside is rank and rotten.

With this in mind, you can imagine how I cursed myself today after buying a bag of satsumas from Waitrose. I was taken in by the glossy shine, the radiance that promised a pip-free sweetness, and most of all by the name, “Food Explorers’ Easy Peelers”.

“I want to be a Food Explorer!” I thought, despite being 24 years old, and therefore distinctly not the demographic the brand was aiming for. “Easy Peelers!” was my second thought; “I can peel them without getting pith under my nails and squirting orange oil in my eye.”

Alas. I sit here, orange oil in my eye, with white frothy pith trails dragging across my keyboard. It was all lies. Not only that, but the pip-free sweetness in reality were dry, shriveled segments, with more hard bits in than pebbledash. And being aimed at the kiddies, these satsumas aren’t allowed to grow much larger than walnuts, so even at full flavour you’d have to eat five to approximate a single adult-intended one. I do it every time – get taken in by appearances. And while Hero’s virtue was, in fact, above reproach, Waitrose – that bastion of “great food, honestly priced” is most certainly a rotten orange.

Sign up for my Notify List and get email when I update!

email:
powered by
NotifyList.com

Powered by Blogger